SELFISHNESS

THE 4 AGREEMENTS 

to attaining personal freedom and true happiness.

1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
2. DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
3. DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

My reminder this morning from the 48 card deck...

Nailed on the head.

Guilty as charged.  It has been very painful to look at ways that I have been extremely selfish, hiding away from dealing with calling myself out to let down my walls and stop firing cannons in all directions to hold on to hurt, pain and my suffering.  I wanted to heal, but was hoping the healing assistance angels would help clear away this selfishness.  The task was always mine to take on, I was fighting it though, trust you me...for it was comfortably uncomfortable.  It has been more uncomfortable to be miserable though, by far.

A day at a time.  A moment at a time...I am not important, I exist, and I am.

I need not try to be important nor 'matter' and simply feel and know deeply that I do to myself.

I have felt ashamed of how I have treated some people in my life...especially over the past few years.  I looked at why certain relationships came to an end, I knew I was the common denominator but I wasn't willing to own my selfishness.  I clung to it after a perceived lifetime of not being selfish ... I recall when I was younger, when people would say - Quisha you need to be more selfish...I feared it.

I said, "But what if I become completely selfish and can't tell the difference or stop being selfish?"

I got my answer.  I created it so I would know and now I know.

I don't need to be selfish to the extreme, I can be selfish in small doses of self love, but not be selfish when it comes to dealing with people I love.

They deserve all the love I can give, and when it is a two way street, I know I am taking care of myself for I have surrounded myself with love.

How lucky have I been to have the people that love me, love me.

I need not fear any more, that I am not lovable, nor loved.

I can be grateful for learning to love myself, humble myself to relinquish my importance, and allow love in without trying to control, direct or expect it.

Tears...of joy.